So - last week was a set back but I recovered quickly. My last post said I weighed in after my PMS showing a .6 lb gain (152). I guess I don't know how to do basic math...When I realized it was a 2 lb increase, I was shocked but mostly perplexed. I couldn't believe it. So, I went for a run, drank some water, got back on track with my eating and weighed again the next day. I was back down to 150.8 lbs and I was relieved.
So what was this 1.2 lbs that was hanging around? And why? Was this left over from my PMS? hormonal? or was it simply just water weight? All I know is that I am glad that my little "Treats" I had didn't really pack on 2 lbs as the scale said that morning!
I thought about the title to this blog when I was contemplating what to write tonight. I reviewed the last two weeks in my mind and decided that - once again - I took a step back. But, I don't see it as "Cheating" or "Failing" or "falling off the wagon".
So -I had to ask myself, "Self, are you sure you are not in denial? Are you sure you are just being to lenient on yourself? Are you making excuses?"
Honestly, I am not 100% sure.
However, For the first time I don't see what I am doing as something that is holding me down, keeping me in line or preventing me from acting a certain way - I see it as something that I am becoming. My fitness is a choice. I choose to eat better and exercise more. I see what I am doing as something I am gaining every time I choose a piece of fruit instead of a cookie. I feel like I am gaining something every time I go to the gym - even if it takes every ounce of energy I have to make myself go.
My fitness and health is not something I have been scared or guilted in to doing.
My fitness and health is something that is not temporary or has an end (unlike what the word "Diet" seems to mean to me).
So - there is no end to my fitness. I can ALWAYS get back on track. I can ALWAYS do better. I can always take it easy. I can always do less.
My biggest struggle and my biggest challenge is to be more consistent with my fitness. And the longer I go with out eating crap and with getting consistent exercise, the worse I feel when I fall short. Still, with my predicted setbacks, I am beginning to feel my fitness evolve and it is very exciting.
Last work out: Saturday
4 miles jogging (new distance record!)
+ core stregthing
Showing posts with label habit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label habit. Show all posts
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
There was Pizza at work :/
I've missed a couple of days writing about my health progress. But I will get you all caught up ;)
Monday was a good day eating. Due to the snow I got to work from home. I found that working in a more relaxed and controlled environment helped me to make better food choices. I ate all my planned meals with a little exception ... Starbucks!
But before my Starbucks trip I wanted to run a little. My gut told me it was going to be a dificult run but I didn't know why. Determined not to give myself any excuses, I leashed up the dogs telling myself I would at least go and give it a try. It was cold - about 28 degrees out and VERY windy. I walked the first mile hoping to warm up and get my body going. Then I thought that dropping off the dogs would help. So I parked them at home, set my watch for 5 min run then 2 min walks. I was to repeat this 6 times. But I still wasn't feeling it at all.
The terrain is rarely flat in my neighborhood. I'm usually running up hill or down hill. I started my first 5 min running going down hill... After 1 minute I started an incline. I talked myself through it... Minute 2 was painful. Minute 3 I found myself walking until I reached the top of the hill. The 5th minute I was running down hill. I felt like I had cheated. I was discouraged and my face was frozen in place from the wind.
I decided I should compromise my work out. I had to regroup. I was now in the middle of my 2 min of walking. I stopped my watch intervals and began to revise my plan.
What was my goal for that day? It was kind of to start my 3rd week of Chi Running intervals but my body was not agreeing with it. So what was plan B? I didn't have one...
I decided that it was important for me to know how it felt for me to run 5 min nonstop using my new Chi Running form. I walked to a road that I had never run on before because it looked a little flatter than my usual route. I started my music, started my watch and started my run. It seemed like the longest 5 min of my life.
I was frustrated with my body. I kept thinking about the stories I have read by other runners. I have heard several times that even the most fit athletes have bad days. I tried to remind myself that I am not exempt from that. I also started searching for something positive about my workout so I wouldn't take this disappointment with me for the rest of the day. I thought of how I walked a mile at a good pace, I ran for 5 min using my new Chi running form, and I didn't have any pain in the areas of injury.
When I got home to take a shower I went to take off my shoes. My legs were swollen. Maybe I was retaining water? Maybe water weight gain caused my workout to be a bummer?
*Monday's Treat: Starbucks Fat Free Peppermint Mocha Latte
________________________________________
Tuesday I decided I needed a rest day. After Monday's bad run I thought maybe my body was telling me to rest. I went to work and had a good breakfast. It was a busy day and I had planned on eating a lean cuisine for lunch. I know lean cuisine is a far cry from a perfect meal but sometimes it's my best effort on really busy and challenging days.
One of my meetings ended right at lunch. I walked into the kitchen at work to find pizza. I was going in to heat my lean cuisine. The next thing I knew, I was eating a slice of cheese pizza at my desk. I didn't even feel guilty. Then I went for a second slice. I told myself as I devoured my pizza that I had to give myself a free meal once a week and that this was it. Then, after lunch, there were chocolates (2 mini chocolates). I figured since I was on a roll I could have chocolates too. But I also made a promise to myself that the next day I would need to have a good clean day of healthy eating... Which brings me to today :)
_________________________________________
Today - Wednesday:
I originally thought of this blog as a way to journal my daily habits and progress. I thought that if I would write everything down, I would learn a lot more about my habits.
It's working!
Habit - an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary (Marium-Webster dictionary)
I was just reviewing my last few days. What I have seen so far that concerns me is that 2 out of the last 6 days, I have given myself an "out". I have found myself treating myself on a whim. What I am afriad of is that this might be my habit that I haven't recognized all this time. Maybe this is something I do on a regular basis? Maybe this is why my 20 pounds have been so hard to lose?
Lots of questions today and not many answers. At least by writing this all down I will think twice next time when I think I deserve a treat! I will start tracking when I treated my self last in order to avoid this becoming a daily occurance.
So, today has been another rest day. Day 2 of rest. My diet is what I promised myself it would be. No treats! Pleanty of protient, low/healthy fats, whole grains and water.
Tomorrow we are expecting warmer weather and I have a half day at work. I am looking forward to stopping at the track on my way home to try my Week 3 Chi Running (5 min run/2 min walk intervals). This time on a level surface! This time no wind! This time the temp will be above 40 :D
Monday was a good day eating. Due to the snow I got to work from home. I found that working in a more relaxed and controlled environment helped me to make better food choices. I ate all my planned meals with a little exception ... Starbucks!
But before my Starbucks trip I wanted to run a little. My gut told me it was going to be a dificult run but I didn't know why. Determined not to give myself any excuses, I leashed up the dogs telling myself I would at least go and give it a try. It was cold - about 28 degrees out and VERY windy. I walked the first mile hoping to warm up and get my body going. Then I thought that dropping off the dogs would help. So I parked them at home, set my watch for 5 min run then 2 min walks. I was to repeat this 6 times. But I still wasn't feeling it at all.
The terrain is rarely flat in my neighborhood. I'm usually running up hill or down hill. I started my first 5 min running going down hill... After 1 minute I started an incline. I talked myself through it... Minute 2 was painful. Minute 3 I found myself walking until I reached the top of the hill. The 5th minute I was running down hill. I felt like I had cheated. I was discouraged and my face was frozen in place from the wind.
I decided I should compromise my work out. I had to regroup. I was now in the middle of my 2 min of walking. I stopped my watch intervals and began to revise my plan.
What was my goal for that day? It was kind of to start my 3rd week of Chi Running intervals but my body was not agreeing with it. So what was plan B? I didn't have one...
I decided that it was important for me to know how it felt for me to run 5 min nonstop using my new Chi Running form. I walked to a road that I had never run on before because it looked a little flatter than my usual route. I started my music, started my watch and started my run. It seemed like the longest 5 min of my life.
I was frustrated with my body. I kept thinking about the stories I have read by other runners. I have heard several times that even the most fit athletes have bad days. I tried to remind myself that I am not exempt from that. I also started searching for something positive about my workout so I wouldn't take this disappointment with me for the rest of the day. I thought of how I walked a mile at a good pace, I ran for 5 min using my new Chi running form, and I didn't have any pain in the areas of injury.
When I got home to take a shower I went to take off my shoes. My legs were swollen. Maybe I was retaining water? Maybe water weight gain caused my workout to be a bummer?
*Monday's Treat: Starbucks Fat Free Peppermint Mocha Latte
________________________________________
Tuesday I decided I needed a rest day. After Monday's bad run I thought maybe my body was telling me to rest. I went to work and had a good breakfast. It was a busy day and I had planned on eating a lean cuisine for lunch. I know lean cuisine is a far cry from a perfect meal but sometimes it's my best effort on really busy and challenging days.
One of my meetings ended right at lunch. I walked into the kitchen at work to find pizza. I was going in to heat my lean cuisine. The next thing I knew, I was eating a slice of cheese pizza at my desk. I didn't even feel guilty. Then I went for a second slice. I told myself as I devoured my pizza that I had to give myself a free meal once a week and that this was it. Then, after lunch, there were chocolates (2 mini chocolates). I figured since I was on a roll I could have chocolates too. But I also made a promise to myself that the next day I would need to have a good clean day of healthy eating... Which brings me to today :)
_________________________________________
Today - Wednesday:
I originally thought of this blog as a way to journal my daily habits and progress. I thought that if I would write everything down, I would learn a lot more about my habits.
It's working!
Habit - an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary (Marium-Webster dictionary)
I was just reviewing my last few days. What I have seen so far that concerns me is that 2 out of the last 6 days, I have given myself an "out". I have found myself treating myself on a whim. What I am afriad of is that this might be my habit that I haven't recognized all this time. Maybe this is something I do on a regular basis? Maybe this is why my 20 pounds have been so hard to lose?
Lots of questions today and not many answers. At least by writing this all down I will think twice next time when I think I deserve a treat! I will start tracking when I treated my self last in order to avoid this becoming a daily occurance.
So, today has been another rest day. Day 2 of rest. My diet is what I promised myself it would be. No treats! Pleanty of protient, low/healthy fats, whole grains and water.
Tomorrow we are expecting warmer weather and I have a half day at work. I am looking forward to stopping at the track on my way home to try my Week 3 Chi Running (5 min run/2 min walk intervals). This time on a level surface! This time no wind! This time the temp will be above 40 :D
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